Then this happens …. 

My mum had been looking after Arlo for us whilst we partied like it was 1999 two hours away in London. All was ok the night went without a hitch and for a short period of time type 1 diabetes wasn’t the only thought in my head, I felt relaxed and was having a great time. I fell into the door in a drunkern stupor around 3am a happy drunk . 

A couple of hours later I woke feeling the pains, aches and cringes from the night before. Chris was on his way to work and my mum was still here. The sky was blue the sun was shining but my head was a big black grey cloud. 

I suggested to my mum that she take Arlo home with her and we could try a sleepover. Arlo was desperate to go he loved going to nannys and since September had not been able to have sleepovers. Mum was more then capable of managing and we needed to try it at some point so why not now I thought. 

I changed the cannula packed his bag and bombarded mum with enough information both our heads were going to explode. Off they went. 

I spent the day lying on the sofa the pressure was off I didn’t have to think about diabetes, didn’t have to count carbs and manage a pump  for a day.  Regular updates from mum I knew his levels were creeping up. I put this down to excitement at being at Nannys . 

5pm came and I still not moved from the sofa had managed to watch two movies and the new episode of Line of Duty I was feeling suitably relaxed. Chris was home from work, the plan was to get takeaway  and watch a movie. 

Then mum called, “Arlo’s levels are 25.6 with ketones at 0.6!!” Ok I thought not a problem we can do this . Lots of water and check in one hour. I looked at Chris who was looking at me with a panicked look on his face saying “this is why we quit London ! We are two hours away from him !!” 

An hour later and his levels had not changed. Mum was going to have to change his cannula and give him some insulin via the pen. Having never done it before and seeing Arlo on FaceTime jumping around and acting hyper I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. So one very fraught FaceTime conversation later with our diabetic nurse on the other phone I  talked mum through a cannula change. The new one was in and the old one  removed clearly bent  at tip. For eight hours or so Arlo had not been getting any insulin. 

Having seen the bent cannula tip for myself I felt slightly relieved that the problem had been solved,  now our main concern was Arlo crashing so low because of the amount of insulin he had. Trying not to frighten Arlo or mum we calmly said check in an hour. Away from FaceTime Chris was pacing the room  and I was mentally getting myself awake and alert ready to drive to Milton Keynes to be with Arlo.  

Hour later mum rang “Victoria he is now 29.9, I’m bringing him home.” 
Coming to a compromise we arranged to meet in the middle at Arlo’s God mothers and then stay at my sisters. It took an hour to get there. Having spoken to Lorraine our Diabetic nurse enroute I had a plan In place. 

Arriving to a traumatised mum who kept saying “it’s all my fault I’m sorry ” and a hyper six year old.  We got to work. Another two units by a pen and another cannula change ( the third today) we could see that the cannula had yet again kinked at the tip. 

By now it was 10pm. I was blaming myself for taking the eye off the ball and allowing myself a day off to have a hangover and to not think of diabetes. I felt awful, mum felt traumatised and Arlo had gone through three cannula and two injections today. 

It was nobody’s fault though. I realised that I can never take a break from diabetes and Arlo can never have a day off. Type 1 diabetes is here for life and it doesn’t switch off when you need a break no matter how tired or hungover you are. Arlo can never switch off from diabetes and try as we might to ensure that Arlo does everything he used to before type 1 came along, sometimes the truth is there may be things such as sleepovers at nannys, parties where we leave him, play dates at Friends houses where we may have to wait a little longer. 

Type 1 diabetes sucks and it’s not going away we are just going to have to learn to live with it and hope that when Arlo is old enough he will understand why sometimes things just didn’t work out as we wanted them to. 

 

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One thought on “Then this happens …. 

  1. Ilse Leenders

    Victoria it was no ones fault and in particular not yours, there is absolutely no blame or fault. I know that’s how I felt, but as I say “it is what it is” and we all have to learn and adjust, you are not on your own, and with a bit more training I am sure Arlo will be able to stay with us. He had a great time, playing with his cars and trains and it was so nice to have him here. OK the stupid (I could use strong words) BEND CANIULA, didn’t help but we had been there before so were more aware of what was causing the problem. I think we both agreed that we needed to be together and I can understand how stressful it was for you and Chris, I did get that from our lovely Face Time training session, it was scary putting the caniula for the first time, but we did it, even though it also bent!!!!!!!
    It did give us an opportunity to spend the evening with Emma and all was well in the end. It was a lesson for us all. It will be ok, yes it is there and it is the new norm and Arlo was amazing as always, bless him. He is waiting for his treats and well deserved they are as well.
    As you said to me its no ones fault, no blame, you did not take “your eye off the ball”. You were there on the phone, and you can enjoy yourself, you can take a break.

    Liked by 1 person

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