Its been a week of hypers, hypos, new pumps and sick bugs in the Peace household. Its been a tough week for all of us. The sick bug hit us Thursday evening and terrified us all when Arlo’s levels dropped low and were dropping instead of going up. We didn’t know what to do, we had read the sick day rules had the plan but when it came to it we all just stared at each waiting for someone to shake us and tell us what to do. That happened in the shape of our Diabetic Nurse. Over the phone she told us what we needed to do, what to do if it all went tits up and ended with saying “I’m keeping my phone on all night call me or the hospital at any time, you can do this!”
We did we survived the first night, without a hospital admission. Arlo spoke first, “Mummy we didn’t go to hospital!” then Chris spoke ” Well we did it, at least we know what to expect now, that’s that first out of the way.”
We did do it we were not quite out of the woods and didn’t come out of it unscathed. Arlo’s poor finger tips were covered in small blood blisters, he now screamed ouch when we did a finger prick test due to having so many tests carried out during the night with the sick bug. Our heads hurt trying to work out where we were at with the pump, the insulin and the sick day rules.
Hopefully next time we would be more on it and less terrified. A text from Penny who had years of experience being a parent of a type 1 made me think that all is ok and that it does get easier.
When things get a bit tough I find myself listening to a lot of Bjork and Tori Amos. This week a little sleep deprived, fed up and angry at diabetes for what Arlo had to go through the last week. I found myself listening to one of my favourite songs Bjork Hyper Ballard the Brodsky Quartet Version. I found myself sobbing whilst listening to the lyrics. They seemed to be quite fitting to how I was feeling now and for the past 6 months.
We had survived the first blip but sadness and anger filled me knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time Arlo had to endure an illness and that there were going to many other firsts to get over.
Bjork 1995we live on a mountain
right at the top
there’s a beautiful view
from the top of the mountain
every morning i walk towards the edge
and throw little things off
car-parts, bottles and cutlery
or whatever i find lying around
it’s become a habit
to start the day
i go through this
before you wake up
so i can feel happier
to be safe up here with you
it’s real early morning
no-one is awake
i’m back at my cliff
still throwing things off
i listen to the sounds they make
on their way down
i follow with my eyes ’til they crash
imagine what my body would sound like
slamming against those rocks
and when it lands
will my eyes
be closed or open?
i’ll go through all this
before you wake up
so i can feel happier to be safe up here with you